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Became a National Couple with My Ex Chapter 27: Useless at Everything, Best at Keeping Clean
In the second-floor lounge, Liang Yixuan was listening to Cheng Nuo and Shen Ji explain the rules of Dou Dizhu. She was completely lost when she suddenly noticed Cheng Nuo pause and look over her shoulder.
Liang Yixuan turned around too and saw Bian Xu slowly walking upstairs with a coffee cup in hand.
Cheng Nuo clicked her tongue and shook her head.
"Seriously? Someone actually left the new girl alone in the kitchen to wash dishes?"
Bian Xu, completely unfazed, replied, "There’s another male guest who loves washing dishes even more than I do. I let him have the honor."
"…"
Cheng Nuo rolled her eyes hard.
She figured that "male guest" must be Duan Ye, who had probably been bribed again. Honestly, whoever gave that guy spending money basically became his new godparent.
Cheng Nuo thought he might as well change his last name to Bian.
"Hey, Teacher Bian," Cheng Nuo couldn't help but complain, "It's obvious Zhao Meng’en came on this show because of you. Can't you at least be a little nicer to her?"
Bian Xu laughed at that logic.
"A lot of people come because of me. If I had to smile sweetly at every one of them, wouldn't that be charity work? Why don't you ask Teacher Liang why she doesn’t do some charity?"
In other words, he was saying that Liang Yixuan also didn’t treat people nicely just because they came for her.
Twisting the logic around like that was basically him openly admitting that he had joined the show because of Liang Yixuan.
Although all the guests except for the newcomer Zhao Meng’en already knew about the unspoken connection between Liang Yixuan and Bian Xu, this was the first time Bian Xu had directly acknowledged it out loud — admitting he had willingly lowered his status just to be here.
Liang Yixuan pressed her lips together and fiddled with her playing cards without saying anything.
The atmosphere became a little tense.
Cheng Nuo sneaked a look at Shen Ji, hoping he would lighten the mood, but found him distracted, lost deep in thought about something else.
Bian Xu didn’t care what Cheng Nuo or Shen Ji thought. He simply stared at Liang Yixuan for a moment, then walked over and tried to take the playing cards from her hand.
"Want to play cards? I’ll teach you."
Apparently, card games were one of the rare social activities Bian the Young Master actually understood.
"I already know how," Liang Yixuan said, pulling her hand away.
Cheng Nuo immediately backed her up, shuffling the deck while saying, "Sorry, Teacher Bian, the three of us are already playing. No seat for you."
Bian Xu raised an eyebrow and pointed at Liang Yixuan.
"I'll team up with her."
"Who’s teaming up with you?" Liang Yixuan shot him a glare.
Bian Xu choked for a second. He was going to explain that "teaming up" was just a gaming term — it didn’t mean anything personal — but the words stuck.
"You don’t have to be so sensitive..." he started to retort, but halfway through he changed it to, "How about 'sharp-eyed and clear-headed' instead?"
Cheng Nuo snorted with laughter.
Bian Xu stared at Liang Yixuan for a moment longer. Seeing that she wasn’t going to change her mind, he turned and left the lounge.
Cheng Nuo leaned toward Liang Yixuan and whispered, "Is it just me, or is he kind of… getting cute?"
Liang Yixuan curled her lips and shook her head.
"No, you're imagining things."
After being shut down repeatedly, Bian Xu finally retreated quietly back to his suite on the third floor.
Thus ended the chaotic weekend. Liang Yixuan finally felt she could breathe a little easier.
It would have looked bad if she hadn’t participated in the weekend filming, but once the workweek began, she had plenty of excuses to avoid awkward situations.
The next morning, she left the house early— before Bian Xu was even remotely likely to be awake— and stayed late at the dance center for extra rehearsals.
That night, around 8 p.m., she was riding a cab back to the northern suburbs, casually checking the edited version of the fifth episode of the show as usual.
The first half of the episode covered the Saturday group dates. The production team explained Bian Xu’s absence as being due to "work commitments," which conveniently lined up with the timing of his little "walkout."
Thanks to the past two episodes, many viewers who had become "Bian Xu mother-fans" — fans who worried about him like a mom would — were now leaving earnest messages pleading with him——
「Can work be your wife? Bian Xu, get your priorities straight!」
「Bian Xu, haven’t you earned enough for baby formula yet? I’m ordering you to fix your attitude right now — drop your work immediately! You can always find another job, but if you lose your girl, she's gone for good!」
「Everyone criticizing Bian, just wait till you see the second half — he really does step up this time!」
Seeing this comment, Liang Yixuan guessed that the show’s Sunday footage must be focusing heavily on Bian Xu. She skipped ahead a bit and, sure enough, found plenty of clips featuring her and Bian Xu together.
Because the dog-walking part had been so last-minute, the production crew hadn’t managed to capture it on film. Plus, the scene with the mango mille-feuille cake could have exposed their relationship, so they cut it out.
Their footage instead picked up from the lottery draw segment.
To their credit, the production team was pretty honest here — they aired the scene exactly as it happened, showing Bian Xu and Duan Ye’s not-so-subtle "deal" during the drawing.
After several calm episodes, the comments section finally came alive again:
「Those two guys are totally cheating pros. Sisters, type '666' on the screen for them!」
「I was still hoping for a twist in the love storyline! I wanted to ship Duan the energetic guy with Liang the artsy goddess! Is this the fall of humanity, or just moral corruption? Duan Ye, how could you agree to something like this?」
「Neither — it’s the power of cold, hard cash. Didn’t Duan Ye say he got his credit card confiscated?」
「Well, that settles it. No more love triangle. I’m convinced Duan Ye is now officially Bian Xu’s guy. The 'Yi-Ye Love CP' is over before it even began. Bad CP names really are cursed!」
Liang Yixuan shook her head and skipped past this part, moving on to a chaotic kitchen scene.
Only half of the interaction between Bian Xu and the loach was kept— the part where the loach accidentally slipped into her shirt was edited out, probably to spare her from too much embarrassment.
She wasn’t sure if that was the production team’s decision, or Bian Xu’s.
Still, even without that scene, the audience seemed more than satisfied:
「What could make a genius pianist use his precious, insured hands to catch a loach? If that’s not love, what is?」
「What could make a lifelong bachelor suddenly grow up overnight? If that’s not love, what is?」
「I once had a god-tier crush right in front of me, and I didn’t treasure him— even called him a dog. Who knew that with just one turn, the god would become a lovesick puppy?」
「The contrast is killing me, I love it! Just for that scene of Bian Xu getting scolded, I’m willing to stay single forever. Liang and Bian MUST get married! I can already picture Bian Xu kneeling on a washboard after marriage!」
「Don’t insult my idol! My idol wouldn’t kneel on a washboard — he’d kneel on a piano keyboard. :)」
「Sorry, Boss Shen, but I’m switching sides. That long outdoor date scene can't compete with these few chaotic kitchen minutes.」
「Is it just me, or did Bian Xu tying Liang Yixuan’s apron look way too… suggestive?」
「It’s not just you. Honestly, it felt more like he was untying it...」
「Even back when they were feeding Peach dog food together, I thought: these two have crazy chemistry whenever they get physically close.」
Most of the comments were typical dating show banter, nothing too serious. But the last few comments made Liang Yixuan's scalp tingle uncomfortably.
She went back to rewatch the scene where Bian Xu tied her apron — and the more she watched, the more she couldn't help but feel that... yeah, it really did look a little suspicious.
Thinking of something, she fast-forwarded to the lounge scene on the second floor.
Thankfully, the editors had cut out Bian Xu’s slightly suggestive line about "charity work," so no one in the comments linked her and Bian Xu together too obviously.
Instead, the discussion turned toward Bian Xu’s "changing hobbies every ten minutes"—
「Never seen a double-standard dog this refreshing before.」
「Bian Xu: Male. Hobby: Liang Yixuan.」
「As a Zhao Meng’en fan, this hurts a little.」
「Come on, this is a dating show. From the moment Girl #4 (Zhao Meng’en) joined, she stopped being just a fan. Don’t confuse reality with fantasy, okay? Personally, I think Bian Xu’s behavior is perfectly fine — he's always been clear with the four female guests: Liang Yixuan, Cheng Nuo, and Pan Yu are one category, Zhao Meng’en is another. He’s only been ‘rude’ to the ones who have a crush on him.」
「Totally agree. Honestly, if a guy acts overly polite to girls he knows are into him, it just gives them false hope. I’d pick a straightforward 'double-standard dog' like Bian Xu any day!」
「[Thumbs up] Our Teacher Bian: bad at everything, but the number one champion at staying faithful and pure.」
Meanwhile, at a coffee shop, Xiao Jie and Zhou Zirui were also watching the end of the latest episode.
In the final text message exchange, Liang Yixuan had sent a message to Shen Ji:「Thank you for teaching me how to play Dou Dizhu today.」
Meanwhile, Bian Xu had texted Liang Yixuan:「Did you have fun playing Dou Dizhu?」
Zhou Zirui wiped away his tears, moved: "After watching this episode, you still dare say my bro's not a lovesick puppy? He's totally whipped!"
Xiao Jie was unimpressed and retorted: "What lovesick puppy talks like that? Who sends a text with that weird, passive-aggressive tone?"
"How’s that passive-aggressive?" Zhou Zirui grabbed his phone and started showing Xiao Jie how to interpret it, complete with emoji examples:
「→_→ Did you have fun playing Dou Dizhu?」
「_(:_」)_ Did you have fun playing Dou Dizhu?」
"You see, the first one sounds sarcastic, but the second one just sounds pitiful. Either tone is possible. Why do you insist on seeing it in the worst way?"
Xiao Jie snorted coldly. "Isn’t it because Bian Xu spent this whole episode doing useless stuff? A man just steps into the kitchen and acts like he made some grand sacrifice. Big deal."
"That depends on who we’re talking about, right? If a man with a billion-dollar fortune gives you a million, and a man with just a million gives you a million, is that the same thing? Someone who’s never even been in a kitchen stepping in for you— sure, it looks small, but if something big happens in the future, he’s probably not going to let you down either."
"We’ll only know when something actually happens."
Xiao Jie said that, but she had to admit Bian Xu did have one trait that made him not entirely hopeless.
Most men want to "win" in relationships just to save face in front of others. But Bian Xu didn’t seem to care about that.
A truly proud person only cares about two opinions in a relationship: his own and his partner’s.
Once he gets past his own mental hurdle, he doesn’t care what others think. Even if he’s embarrassed or teased in front of the whole country, it doesn’t seem to bother him at all.
Thinking about it, Xiao Jie sighed. "See? That’s why I say misunderstandings aren't that big a deal. Bian Xu still hasn’t cleared up that whole mix-up yet, has he? But once he’s okay with it himself, nothing else matters."
Zhou Zirui let out a long sigh. "Alright, alright, you women are always right. Let’s go, let’s go — same time next week for coffee."
"Don’t you dare," Xiao Jie shot him a look. "If you come, I’ll have to argue with you again, and your twisted male logic will take years off my life!"
After Zhou Zirui left, Xiao Jie realized she hadn’t contacted Liang Yixuan since Saturday. She gave her a WeChat voice call.
Liang Yixuan answered from inside a taxi.
"Just checking in — how’s everything going on the show these days?" Xiao Jie asked over the phone.
"You didn’t watch today’s episode?" Liang Yixuan said, sounding complicated.
"Just finished. It was crazy! But I was worried about the editing messing things up, so I wanted to ask you what really happened."
Thinking back to the whole ‘mudfish battle,’ Liang Yixuan sighed. "Honestly, the real thing was even more chaotic than the edit…"
Xiao Jie laughed. After calming down, she said, "But seriously, you don’t need to stress too much. At least Bian Xu isn’t causing trouble anymore. Yeah, he’s a bit ridiculous, but his heart’s in the right place, right?"
Compared to how things were when Bian Xu first joined the show, things had definitely gotten better.
But Liang Yixuan found it odd. Xiao Jie had been badmouthing Bian Xu so much before — why was she suddenly speaking up for him?
Thinking about how Zhou Zirui had shown up at Xiao Jie’s café last time, Liang Yixuan asked, "You didn’t get bribed by Zhou Zirui, did you?"
"Please, I’m not Duan Ye. I’m just telling you not to overthink everything. Life’s going to move on whether you’re happy or miserable. Might as well take things as they come, you know?"
"I know. By the way, did you figure out how Zhou Zirui knew who you were?"
"Oh, that? Remember when I went to see your dance performance at the center? He happened to be there too," Xiao Jie explained vaguely.
Liang Yixuan understood now. As the taxi pulled up, she hurriedly told Xiao Jie they’d talk more later and hung up.
She thanked the driver and got out, walking into the courtyard.
As soon as she entered, she noticed two men standing in the shadows under the eaves.
The tall, skinny one was Bian Xu; the sturdier one looked like Liu Peng.
Both of them were facing away from her, deep in conversation, and hadn’t noticed her yet.
Liang Yixuan wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but their voices drifted over anyway—
"Huh? Cancel the trending topic? Wasn’t it about you and Liang Yixuan’s CP name? Why cancel it?"
"Who told you to pick that name?"
Liang Yixuan had seen tonight’s trending searches on her phone in the car— the production team had pushed the hype between her and Bian Xu, giving them a CP name: Xuan Xu CP.
It was a play on her name "Xuan" (璇) and his "Xu" (叙).
Liang Yixuan understood — dating shows always paired people up like this.
It wasn’t just her— Cheng Nuo and Duan Ye got called "Ye Cheng CP," Pan Yu and Lin Xiao Sheng were "Lin Yu CP," and there were plenty more weird combinations.
It was something she had accepted. No point stressing about it.
What surprised her was that Bian Xu was the one who objected first.
Had he finally learned to put himself in others’ shoes? Was he actually thinking about her feelings?
Liang Yixuan blinked in confusion, just as she heard the second half of Bian Xu’s sentence: "Picking such an unlucky name— who are they trying to curse?"
"..."
Suddenly, Liang Yixuan remembered a comment she had seen earlier— someone joked that her CP with Duan Ye didn’t work out because their name "One-Night-Stand CP" (a pun in Chinese) was unlucky.
"Think of a better, luckier name and buy a new trend," Bian Xu ordered coolly.
After giving his instructions, he turned around and came face-to-face with Liang Yixuan’s complicated gaze.
Bian Xu: "..."
Liang Yixuan: "..."