Obsessed with Cleanliness Chapter 14: Fans

"Sister Tong, you’re still here?" Her assistant placed the materials needed for tomorrow on Xiao Tong’s desk, then glanced at her watch. "Sister Tong, it’s almost seven o’clock. Could it be that your lover got caught up with something and can’t come? Maybe you should go home first. It’s not safe for you to be out this late alone."

"She’s probably stuck in traffic. It’s okay. Xiao Zhao, you go ahead. I’ll leave after I finish this design draft."

"Alright then, but don’t stay too late, okay?"

People from the studio gradually clocked out one by one.

Xiao Tong sat at her desk, absentmindedly fiddling with a fountain pen.

The pen twirled skillfully between her fingers as, one by one, the lights outside her office were turned off.

Eventually, the entire large office was left in silence and darkness, except for the dim light coming from Xiao Tong’s window.

The pen was still spinning in her hand, and its nib occasionally tapped the desk with a soft clack, the sound echoing faintly in the now-empty room.

Xiao Tong slumped into her chair, leaning her head against the backrest, staring at the second hand on the clock as it ticked—tick, tick.

It was moving so slowly, yet somehow, before she realized it, even the hour hand had passed ten.

It was late autumn, and the wind outside was strong. Her studio was on a high floor, and the cold wind howled between the buildings with a mournful wail.

Even with the windows shut tight, Xiao Tong felt chilled to the bone and shivered, hunching her shoulders.

She was supposed to get off work at 6:30. Yu Qinghan said she’d pick her up at 6:30. But now it was already ten.

Xiao Tong kept her eyes on her phone the whole time, afraid to even blink.

Not a single call. Not even a voice message. She told herself Yu Qinghan must be stuck in traffic. She must be in the car, getting anxious because she didn’t bring her phone.

Or maybe she ran into an emergency like a passerby suddenly having a seizure, and she had to take them to the hospital.

Or perhaps Yu Qinghan herself got into an accident, maybe she’s in the hospital right now, getting treated…

The more she thought, the more absurd her guesses became. Worry for Yu Qinghan’s safety gripped her heart.

She slammed the pen she was spinning onto the desk and jumped to her feet. Then, two seconds later, collapsed back into her chair.

For a split second, a dark thought crossed her mind: What if Yu Qinghan really had gotten into a car accident?

If she was injured, Xiao Tong could take care of her for the rest of her life. If she died, Xiao Tong would just die with her. At least it would all be over.

But deeper inside, there was a small, quiet voice reminding her: There aren’t that many "accidents" in the world.

Yu Qinghan didn’t come because of one of two reasons: She didn’t want to come. Or she forgot.

Xiao Tong had always been good at making excuses for Yu Qinghan.

She had made them for over a decade.

"She forgot."

"She’s busy."

"She’s tired..."

As long as Yu Qinghan treated her a little bit nicely, even just a little, Xiao Tong would rejoice and convince herself: See? Yu Qinghan still cares about me. That tiny bit of kindness became the so-called proof that Yu Qinghan’s feelings for her hadn’t changed.

The darkness outside made the light from her office window look especially bright.

The glass, under the reflection, looked more like a mirror. Xiao Tong turned her head and saw her own pale, exhausted face staring back at her. Blank eyes, downturned lips. She looked just like a woman abandoned by love.

Which she was. Even after spending more than ten years together, Yu Qinghan had long since thrown her away. Xiao Tong knew it perfectly well. But she just couldn’t let go.

Why should she let go?

Xiao Tong leaned onto her desk, laughing. At first it was just a chuckle, but she’d been holding it in for too long.

Now that she finally had the chance. Alone in the empty office, she didn’t want to suppress it anymore.

So she laughed out loud.

Strange noises bubbled up from her throat, and her shoulders shook uncontrollably.

After all, it was Yu Qinghan who had made so many heartfelt promises to her, spoken so many sweet words that sounded so real.

They had been together for over ten years.

Why should she be the one to let go?

Why should she step aside for those random women?

Why should she let Yu Qinghan go?

Xiao Tong thought, Even if one day she had to drag Yu Qinghan into hell with her. She still wouldn’t let go.

She slumped over her desk, lost in a mess of dark and bitter thoughts, laughing like a madwoman for a long time until she looked up and realized someone else had entered the office without her even noticing.

Jing Xing stood there, watching her with a worried expression.

Xiao Tong couldn’t help but admire her beautiful manager’s ghost-like stealth.

When had she come in? She hadn’t heard a thing.

"You’re here," Xiao Tong straightened up, wiping away the tears from laughing. "Birthday party’s over?"

"Mm." Jing Xing nodded, her face calm, as if nothing had happened.

She pulled over a chair and sat down, placing a shopping bag overflowing with gifts on Xiao Tong’s desk.

"Here. These are from your fans."

Xiao Tong glanced at the bags. There were stuffed toys, clothes she had designed herself, and various luxury perfumes and cosmetics.

Altogether, they must’ve cost quite a bit.

She thought: The world only sees the shiny surface. If those so-called fans ever found out what kind of person she really was, They’d probably run for the hills. How could anyone idolize someone as disgraceful as her?

But when she looked at the birthday gifts, her heart ached anyway.

Even complete strangers were better to her than Yu Qinghan…

"A-Xing, did you at least give them some cake?" Xiao Tong smiled faintly. "It’s a birthday. There should always be cake."

"Yes. It was a three-tier ice cream cake. They even had your name written on it. Your little fans were fighting to get the slice with your name on it. They almost trampled the stage."

"Sounds delicious."

Xiao Tong smacked her lips playfully. She didn’t even like sweets that much, but the way Jing Xing described it made the cake sound amazing.

Jing Xing didn’t say anything. She watched Xiao Tong smile but it looked worse than crying.

Jing Xing would’ve preferred if she just burst into tears, cried her heart out, and threw away everything—

Yu Qinghan, Yu Qingnuan. Let it all go.

For a brief moment, Jing Xing had a sudden thought: If Xiao Tong really ended up with no one else…

Then maybe—

Maybe she’d be willing to take care of her for the rest of her life.

She’d already planned on living this life alone anyway.

"A-Xing, it’s getting late. You should head home now."

After a moment of silence, Xiao Tong finally spoke softly.

She quietly stared at a certain logo on the shopping bag, her expression calm, without a hint of emotion.

The calmer she looked, the more worried Jing Xing felt.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I want to sit a little longer. A-Xing, I’ve worked at Zhongshe for so many years, and this is the first time I’ve realized how beautiful the night view here is."

"I’ll stay with you."

As soon as Xiao Tong heard that, she immediately lost interest in the view.

"Forget it. I’m heading back," she said with drooping eyelids. "Who knows, maybe Qinghan is waiting for me at home."

Jing Xing knew the truth but didn’t expose it. Xiao Tong was already covered in wounds, why add the final blow?

So she didn’t tell Xiao Tong that today, the eldest daughter of the Mo family had returned from abroad, and that the Mos were hosting a welcome banquet at the most luxurious hotel in Jiangyu City, with all the city’s elites attending— including Yu Qinghan.

She also didn’t tell Xiao Tong that Mo Xiyuan, the Mo family heiress, had breathtaking beauty and eyes that looked exactly like Xiao Tong’s.

Seeing Mo Xiyuan, Jing Xing finally understood.

Why someone like Yu Qinghan, despite being who she was, would keep Xiao Tong by her side for over a decade even if she had never truly treated her well.

But Jing Xing said none of that.

She only offered Xiao Tong a hand when she staggered to her feet, saying, "I’ll take you home."

"No need." Xiao Tong pulled her hand away, then said mockingly, "A-Xing, at least let me keep a shred of dignity."

As soon as she said that, even she found it laughable.

She’d thrown her dignity on the ground long ago for others to trample on, and now she was begging someone else to let her keep it.

Dignity? What dignity did she have left?

The company had assigned Xiao Tong a car, but today she gave the driver the night off and told him to go home early.

Since she didn’t know how to drive, she had to walk across the street to take the subway.

But it was already past eleven. The station had closed. Xiao Tong stood at the entrance, spacing out, when it suddenly started to rain.

The wind blew the rain into the station entrance, hitting her arms with a cold chill.

She didn’t have an umbrella, so she hugged herself and stepped back a little, leaning against the wall to quietly wait out the rain.

Suddenly, a soft voice—young, clearly a girl’s, sounded behind her: "Excuse me... are you Xiao Tong?"

Xiao Tong turned around and saw a girl holding an umbrella standing behind her.

She looked timid and didn’t dare step forward, but her eyes sparkled with excitement.

"You are...?"

"I’m your fan! Sister Xiao Tong, you don’t even know how amazing you are! The clothes you design are so beautiful! I’ve saved every one of your pieces... I... I really, really love your work!"

Xiao Tong had heard Jing Xing mention she had fans before, but she wasn’t a celebrity.

Other than her creative process, her whole mind had always been filled with Yu Qinghan.

Everything else, she left to Jing Xing to handle.

The word "fan" felt so distant.

Now, faced with a real, live one, she didn’t know what to do. This girl looked like she was barely in her teens.

Xiao Tong didn’t know how to respond to the unfamiliar but passionate admiration from this "fan."

All she could do was stammer, "Thank you... uh... you should keep up with your studies…"

"Hahaha... what! Everyone online says Sister Xiao Tong is super cold and cool. Where’s the coldness? I think you’re totally adorable! Ah, your public image is totally shattered, hahaha…"

The girl chattered nonstop, then suddenly blushed, pulled a card from her backpack, and handed it to Xiao Tong.

Clipped to the card was a rose made of shiny paper, it was beautiful, clearly made with care.

"Sister Xiao Tong, I made this myself. I knew today was your birthday and really wanted to give it to you. I thought I’d missed my chance, but who knew… heaven is really kind to me, I actually got to meet you! I just want to tell you, you’re the best! I’ll always support you!"

Then, without giving Xiao Tong time to react, the girl shoved her umbrella into Xiao Tong’s hands and dashed off into the rain.

"H-Hey, your…"

Xiao Tong watched the girl disappear into the rain, calling out, but unable to stop her.

"Your umbrella…"

But she was already gone, out of sight. Xiao Tong still held the card the girl had made. It was beautifully done.

She opened it, and inside, in neat handwriting, was a single line:

"Sister Xiao Tong, today is my favorite day of the whole year, because today, God sent you down to the world."

Xiao Tong’s nose stung with emotion.

She thought: Even someone as pathetic as me… there’s actually someone out there who sincerely celebrates my existence.

She gently tucked the card into her chest and smiled, thinking—

Qinghan, even a stranger is more tender than you.

When she got home, as expected, the apartment was empty.

She turned on the lights and saw flour scattered all over the floor, clearly someone had dropped it and stepped on it.

Xiao Tong gathered a bit of the clean flour from the top layer, added water, kneaded the dough, and put it in the oven.

After some time, a palm-sized cupcake was done.

It hadn’t even cooled yet, but she held it in her hands, closed her eyes, and took a bite.

Not too sweet, not greasy, just the flavor she liked best.

She only took one bite before smiling.

"Qinghan, your cake tastes amazing…"

The apartment was silent and messy. In the middle of the dirty floor, Xiao Tong stood alone, smiling like a child.