Obsessed with Cleanliness Chapter 9: Nightmare

Xiao Tong had to stay in the hospital for one more night for observation. Jing Xing originally wanted to stay and keep her company, but Xiao Tong felt bad for troubling her so much over the past couple of days and insisted that she not stay.

Besides, Jing Xing had just returned from Paris and was quite busy, more than ten media outlets wanted to interview Xiao Tong. Jing Xing had to arrange her schedule, write press materials, and deal with a bunch of other tasks. Since Xiao Tong was so insistent, Jing Xing didn’t argue and left around 10 p.m.

Xiao Tong lay alone on the hospital bed. It was a high-end, spacious private room, yet the emptiness made her uneasy. Even the blurry shadows of tree branches outside the window scared her.

Every time she closed her eyes, she was plagued by nightmares, too afraid to fall asleep.

Around midnight, she couldn’t help herself and called Yu Qinghan.

Even if Yu Qinghan were to scold her or mock her, just hearing her voice would bring Xiao Tong a little peace.

Unfortunately, Yu Qinghan’s phone was off, she wouldn’t even leave that small comfort for her.

Xiao Tong lay in bed the entire night, wide awake, hands clutching the blanket tightly, never daring to shut her eyes.

Without Yu Qinghan, the moment she closed her eyes, it was like being swallowed by an endless sea of nightmares.

Yu Qinghan wasn’t doing much better without Xiao Tong either.

Pieces of her shattered phone were scattered all over the living room, making a mess and an eyesore. She stayed in the room for a bit but couldn’t stand it. There wasn’t even any hot water in the house.

She hadn’t eaten all day and was starving.

She was angry at herself, refusing to believe she couldn’t survive without Xiao Tong.

So, she pulled out a few ingredients from the fridge to try cooking. Just cutting meat had her flustered, and she even cut her finger in the process.

She finally got it cut and tossed it in the pan, but the oil was too hot, and she hadn’t dried the water off the meat properly—hot oil splattered everywhere. A few drops landed on the back of her hand, which was soft and delicate from years of care. Instantly, it turned red.

She also didn’t control the heat well, and before long, the meat was completely burnt. Just looking at it killed her appetite.

She turned off the heat, threw down the spatula, and stormed out, slamming the kitchen door shut behind her, cutting herself off from the chaos as if pretending none of it had happened would make it go away.

With no food, she had to order delivery. The food looked great in the photos, but when it arrived, it was nothing like what she expected.

Yu Qinghan couldn’t even be bothered to take a bite. She left the food containers and chopsticks on the living room table, took a shower, and collapsed into bed.

Xiao Tong’s home was now a disaster thanks to her. Only the bedroom remained somewhat clean. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have even had a place to sleep.

Lying in bed, Yu Qinghan silently resented Xiao Tong.

She hated how scheming Xiao Tong was, how she’d spent more than ten years shaping her into someone who couldn’t live without her.

Xiao Tong had lain stiff in the hospital bed all night. Early the next morning, she checked herself out without even waiting for Jing Xing to pick her up.

When she got home, she was shocked.

Takeout boxes were scattered on the coffee table, greasy and gross. The chopsticks had made the glass table sticky and dirty. There was junk all over the floor, and she had to step carefully just to walk through the room.

Then she looked at the kitchen and almost fainted.

Could this still be called a kitchen? It looked more like a small-scale explosion site.

There were grease stains all over the marble countertop, and in the pan was a blackened mess that didn’t even resemble food anymore.

Xiao Tong thought the place had been broken into and was about to call the police when she heard movement from the bedroom.

Yu Qinghan had already gotten up and opened the bedroom door, locking eyes with Xiao Tong, who was sitting on the sofa with her phone in hand, halfway through dialing 110.

"Qinghan?" Xiao Tong’s face lit up when she saw her. She dropped the phone and rushed over in three big steps, her joy practically written all over her face.

"You’re back? Why didn’t you tell me? Are you hungry? Oh, right, there’s nothing in the house. I’ll make you something to eat…"

"Where were you last night?" Yu Qinghan asked coldly.

"Me? Last night…"

"Who were you fooling around with behind my back? Xiao Tong, do you not understand I have OCD? Are you still not dirty enough for your own taste? Once isn’t enough, right? What, you want to go for round two? If you want to break up, just say it!"

"I didn’t, I didn’t—"

The word "break up" was like a knife straight into Xiao Tong’s heart.

She shook her head repeatedly, unable to form coherent sentences, repeating "I didn’t" over and over again.

Here we go again, playing the poor victim.

Yu Qinghan, furious, kicked the coffee table across the room into the wall.

"Then tell me where you went! And who was that woman who answered your phone?!"

"She was… she was…"

Xiao Tong’s stomach still hadn’t fully recovered. Her body was weak.

She couldn’t catch her breath and started choking, stumbling onto the sofa in a coughing fit, tears streaming down her face.

She ended up leaning back, gasping violently for air.

Yu Qinghan stood by the bedroom door, arms crossed, watching coldly.

She waited for her to calm down before sneering, "Xiao Tong, ten years of playing the victim, aren’t you tired yet?"

Of course she was tired.

Xiao Tong lay slumped on the sofa, gasping for breath. She finally managed to calm down a little, both physically and emotionally drained. She forced herself to stay upright. Looking at Yu Qinghan’s cold face, she suddenly felt that all the years she had spent holding on now seemed meaningless.

Xiao Tong, are you still not dirty enough?

Xiao Tong took a few breaths. Suddenly, her shoulders trembled, and she let out a laugh.

So in Yu Qinghan’s eyes, she had long been just a filthy woman.

At that moment, Xiao Tong truly realized that the hope she had held onto, that she and Yu Qinghan could go back to how things used to be had always been a foolish delusion.

"I was in the hospital last night," Xiao Tong said, propping herself up on the sofa. She smoothed her hair to make herself look a little less disheveled.

"The person who answered the phone last night was my agent. I mentioned her to you before, maybe you forgot."

Yu Qinghan’s expression shifted. "You were sick? What was it?"

"Acute gastric ulcer. Here's the diagnosis."

Xiao Tong pulled all the documents out of her pocket and handed them to Yu Qinghan.

Yu Qinghan carefully read through them and finally believed Xiao Tong was telling the truth. Holding the medical papers in her hand, she didn’t know what to say.

After a long pause, she awkwardly walked over and sat down beside Xiao Tong, her tone much gentler.

"You were sick, why didn’t you call me?"

Xiao Tong glanced at her and gave a faint smile. "I did. You were busy, and you hung up."

At that time, she had been in the bathroom, in so much pain she could barely speak.

She called Yu Qinghan, but Qinghan had hung up impatiently.

There were so many things Xiao Tong wanted to say.

She wanted to tell her, Qinghan, it really hurts.

She wanted to say, Qinghan, can you come back? I’m scared without you.

She wanted to tell Yu Qinghan about the terrifying nightmares.

But Yu Qinghan hadn’t given her a chance to say even a single word.

Yu Qinghan had hung up the phone.

Now Yu Qinghan recalled that she might have received such a call the night before.

But at the time, she’d been at a bar, drinking happily with Zhang Xiaoxiao and Chang Lindian so she hung up.

Thinking about that now, she guiltily glanced at Xiao Tong.

Xiao Tong’s face showed no expression at all.

Yu Qinghan coughed twice and said awkwardly, "I was busy then. Maybe I didn’t notice."

Xiao Tong nodded to show she understood.

She didn’t ask why Yu Qinghan hadn’t called back afterward.

Yu Qinghan rarely called her first anyway. Xiao Tong had gotten used to that a long time ago.

When they were together, Xiao Tong was always the one putting in effort to lighten the mood.

She was the one caring and attentive.

But today, Xiao Tong was too weak to cheer her up. So, for the first time, the room fell completely silent.

Xiao Tong leaned tiredly on the sofa, frighteningly quiet.

Yu Qinghan, feeling guilty, uncharacteristically took the initiative to show some care. She reached out to feel Xiao Tong’s forehead.

"Why did your stomach act up again out of nowhere? You’ve always been like this, when the pain hits, your whole face turns pale. Did you take any medicine? Want to go lie down?"

"I took medicine. I just can’t sleep."

Xiao Tong turned her face away, dodging Yu Qinghan’s hand. She had a stomach illness, not a fever. That gesture just felt ridiculous.

Maybe Yu Qinghan realized that too. She awkwardly withdrew her hand and said,

"Since you’ve taken the medicine, get some rest. Even if you can’t sleep, lie down anyway. Go to the bedroom, I’ll stay with you."

"No need." Xiao Tong gave a mocking smile without even looking at her. "I haven’t showered. I’m dirty."

"You’re not dirty, Xiao Tong. Don’t overthink it. I was just angry earlier, it was just words. To me, you’ll always be the cleanest, the purest.

Come on, let’s go to bed, alright? I’ll sleep with you."

Yu Qinghan hugged her and repeated, "I’ll sleep with you."

You’ll always be the cleanest.

Xiao Tong used to believe that with all her heart. But today, she could no longer convince herself.

Those nightmare-like memories had nearly driven Xiao Tong to want to die.

She had survived so many things.

Yet none of it hurt more than that one sentence from Yu Qinghan: "Are you still not dirty enough?"

That one sentence was the sharpest spear in the world, effortlessly shattering the wall Xiao Tong had spent over a decade building to protect herself.

"Yu Qinghan." Xiao Tong looked at the woman she had loved for more than ten years. For the first time, she felt like she had never really known her. "I’m really tired."

Yu Qinghan said nothing. She carried Xiao Tong back to the bedroom to sleep.

The bed was warm, her arms soft and comforting. Xiao Tong leaned into her chest but couldn’t sleep.

This was the first time, even in Yu Qinghan’s embrace that Xiao Tong still couldn’t fall asleep.

Because Xiao Tong knew: Yu Qinghan didn’t want her anymore.

In a world so vast, Yu Qinghan had been her final refuge.

And now that even Yu Qinghan didn’t want her, there was no place left for her in this entire world.